I am weary.

I am weary. Deep down to the bone weary.

I spent this summer running hard—harder than I planned.

A week to choreograph a dance. Two days of orientation. A 16-hour turnaround for a week of camp. Two weeks to write and rest. A week of family reunion. A day dropping in to youth camp. Dancing again three days later. Three weeks of kid’s camp at church. And, at the end of it all, saying goodbye to someone who will be deeply missed.

The emotions ran high as sleep and healthy habits declined. Anxiety and frustration were the norm. And I constantly thought, If I can just make it through this, things will slow down. But things kept speeding up instead.

And as I plunged across what I thought was the finish line and collapsed last week, I started fighting an infection. It wasn’t a surprise. I’d been running hard enough to weaken even the strongest immune system. But it zapped my energy. It made real rest difficult. And it threw off my get-ready-for-college plans.

Now I am working towards what’s next. Now my head is above the water again and I’m finding my footing. I’m trying to rest. To trust. To keep moving forward, but to move with joy and intention. To live every moment as best as I can. To not get caught up in the fray.

Basically, to slow down. To stop the busy. To do the things that actually refresh me, not just the things that entertain me. Breakneck speed was okay for a season but it’s not sustainable and I’m ready for it to change.

Here’s to regaining sanity and a bit of normalcy.