In between classes, cooking, and everything else that comes with being a college student, I’ve been working with Susanna to get the book done. That’s part of the reason I’ve been so absent here. I have a head full of ideas of things to blog about, but it’s been more and more challenging to find the time or the mental clarity to make the words say what I want them to. I’m finding it hard to know how to tell my stories when I’m in a place of such constant change. I always thought that if I studied and learned enough, I would reach a place of understanding that would never change.
We’re in the midst of writing the story of my year in the dress. With each chapter, the way I see that year is shifting. The way I feel about it now isn’t the same way as I felt about it when we started writing, which was different from how I felt about it when I was wearing the dress.
Sometimes, I wonder if I should wait to tell this story until I’m sure of it and what it actually meant. It terrifies me, because ten years from now, the way I see that year will have changed again. They’ll probably change between the time we finish writing and the time the book is actually published.
But maybe that’s part of telling stories.
Maybe it’s not my job to tell you what the story means.
Maybe all I need to do is tell it.
Stories are important, and I still think they’re worth telling. I know that this one is worth telling. So if I’m not here, know that it’s because I’m writing and wrestling with this story. In the meantime, in the midst of everything that’s changing, there’s still stories I want to share here.
I can’t say what they mean, but I can offer them to you. Maybe together, we’ll discover that we’re not alone.